12.12.2005
At Last, We Have Traction
ESPN.com has made Ugueth Urbina its top story as of this moment (Monday night, before the conclusion of Falcons-Saints). The worldwide leader has seen fit to interview Urbina and fellow Venezuelan Ozzie Guillen and publish the full transcripts (here and here), a tactic previously reserved for Terrell Owens hatchet jobs. The headline is "Urbina's Plight," and the picture is of him speaking into a microphone from behind bars, wearing what appears to be a particularly menacing Florida Panthers cap.
Seriously, stop what you're doing and read the two interviews. This is the best sports story of the year, staring us in the face, because it will be a case study in athletic glory and the way it plays in a serious, sensational, life-or-death situation, and in different countries where baseball is differently valued.
ESPN did well to score these interviews -- although it did take them two months -- and Pedro Gomez seems to cover a lot of bases with his questioning. Gomez was formerly most notable for being commissioned by ESPN to shadow Barry Bonds in the height of the home run record chase and ensuing BALCO scandal, but here we learn he is also ESPN's go-to guy when a major story breaks in a Spanish-speaking country. Not that we expected Jayson Stark or Peter Gammons to be chomping at the bit for this assignment.
It is notable that, earlier this morning, the story sat towards the bottom of the page, under Bill Simmons and "Today's Voices," in the "Must-Read" Section. Now, the Must-Read Section -- which we will no longer refer to in quotes, as it is a cherished household name -- the ESPN.com Must-Read section has certainly run some entertaining and informative pieces in the past.
But their use of the phrase "Must-Read" here is just a trick to get you to read something towards the bottom of a web page. Ain't a thing wrong with trying to get ahead in this newer and scrappier Internet age, but there's only one place to put a real Must-Read story in sports, and that's front and center. ESPN's editors probably didn't realize it until they saw the Urbina story skyrocketing through the most-viewed ranks, but at last, here it sits, right where it needs to be.
Things that are now going to transpire:
1. Urbina will get a fair trial, both from the Venezuelan justice system and the court of American public opinion, due to the severity and unusual nature of the charges.
2. Other sportswriters, such as those at CNN/SI, CBS Sportsline, and so on, will have to start addressing the story.
3. Letterman may or may not refer to the saga in his monologue, but Jon Stewart definitely will (if he hasn't already).
4. We might experience a resurgence in Reservoir Dogs references, trivia, and music, a resurgence that is at least four years premature.
5. Bill Simmons will make some jokes about it that flirt dangerously with being racially insensitive.
6. As someone we're relying on for background info, Ozzie Guillen will come to be more appreciated for his surprisingly well-spoken manner, once that well-spoken manner is translated into English.
7. Michael Vick, who just broke off a twenty-yard naked bootleg to school the entire Saints defense on MNF, will be back atop the headlines before too long. (This is already true on CBS Sportsline, which does not appear to acknowledge the Urbina story at all.)
As for the grand prediction? I may just be another two-bit blogger with more Wi-Fi capability than legal knowledge, but it's hard to see a happy ending for Urbina, especially given the numerous still-unanswered questions. Did Ugie learn about the fracas after waking up in the night or after the police informed him in the morning? Is Ugie "not man enough" to get really drunk and "Reservoir-Dogs" these five other drunk guys, or is he (according to Guillen) capable of beating up everyone else in his jail cell "one at a time?" And why is Ugie's lawyer letting him give such a detailed interview to ESPN (especially in contrast with the tight-lipped "ongoing investigation" language employed by steroid-accused baseballers lately, not to mention the Bush administration)? How does the Venezuelan justice system differ from America's in situations like these, especially in the case of celebrity involvement?
The questions will roll on. We sports fans can only hope the Worldwide Leader recognizes the blockbuster potential here and sees this saga through to the end. One figures they must, if only to satiate the hordes of hot-stove enthusiasts who wonder why their team hasn't acquired enough top-notch bullpen help yet this winter. For now, we only have poetic quotes like this from Ozzie:
Seriously, stop what you're doing and read the two interviews. This is the best sports story of the year, staring us in the face, because it will be a case study in athletic glory and the way it plays in a serious, sensational, life-or-death situation, and in different countries where baseball is differently valued.
ESPN did well to score these interviews -- although it did take them two months -- and Pedro Gomez seems to cover a lot of bases with his questioning. Gomez was formerly most notable for being commissioned by ESPN to shadow Barry Bonds in the height of the home run record chase and ensuing BALCO scandal, but here we learn he is also ESPN's go-to guy when a major story breaks in a Spanish-speaking country. Not that we expected Jayson Stark or Peter Gammons to be chomping at the bit for this assignment.
It is notable that, earlier this morning, the story sat towards the bottom of the page, under Bill Simmons and "Today's Voices," in the "Must-Read" Section. Now, the Must-Read Section -- which we will no longer refer to in quotes, as it is a cherished household name -- the ESPN.com Must-Read section has certainly run some entertaining and informative pieces in the past.
But their use of the phrase "Must-Read" here is just a trick to get you to read something towards the bottom of a web page. Ain't a thing wrong with trying to get ahead in this newer and scrappier Internet age, but there's only one place to put a real Must-Read story in sports, and that's front and center. ESPN's editors probably didn't realize it until they saw the Urbina story skyrocketing through the most-viewed ranks, but at last, here it sits, right where it needs to be.
Things that are now going to transpire:
1. Urbina will get a fair trial, both from the Venezuelan justice system and the court of American public opinion, due to the severity and unusual nature of the charges.
2. Other sportswriters, such as those at CNN/SI, CBS Sportsline, and so on, will have to start addressing the story.
3. Letterman may or may not refer to the saga in his monologue, but Jon Stewart definitely will (if he hasn't already).
4. We might experience a resurgence in Reservoir Dogs references, trivia, and music, a resurgence that is at least four years premature.
5. Bill Simmons will make some jokes about it that flirt dangerously with being racially insensitive.
6. As someone we're relying on for background info, Ozzie Guillen will come to be more appreciated for his surprisingly well-spoken manner, once that well-spoken manner is translated into English.
7. Michael Vick, who just broke off a twenty-yard naked bootleg to school the entire Saints defense on MNF, will be back atop the headlines before too long. (This is already true on CBS Sportsline, which does not appear to acknowledge the Urbina story at all.)
As for the grand prediction? I may just be another two-bit blogger with more Wi-Fi capability than legal knowledge, but it's hard to see a happy ending for Urbina, especially given the numerous still-unanswered questions. Did Ugie learn about the fracas after waking up in the night or after the police informed him in the morning? Is Ugie "not man enough" to get really drunk and "Reservoir-Dogs" these five other drunk guys, or is he (according to Guillen) capable of beating up everyone else in his jail cell "one at a time?" And why is Ugie's lawyer letting him give such a detailed interview to ESPN (especially in contrast with the tight-lipped "ongoing investigation" language employed by steroid-accused baseballers lately, not to mention the Bush administration)? How does the Venezuelan justice system differ from America's in situations like these, especially in the case of celebrity involvement?
The questions will roll on. We sports fans can only hope the Worldwide Leader recognizes the blockbuster potential here and sees this saga through to the end. One figures they must, if only to satiate the hordes of hot-stove enthusiasts who wonder why their team hasn't acquired enough top-notch bullpen help yet this winter. For now, we only have poetic quotes like this from Ozzie:
PG: What are the chances that Ugueth Urbina will pitch in the major leagues again?
OG: I don't know, because now I'm on the other side of the ring, I'm managing right now. But in this game, a lot of people kill, a lot of people gamble, a lot of people get caught doing drugs, a lot of people get caught beating their wives. A lot of people get caught doing a lot of mistakes. And they have another chance. Just because Ugie fights with somebody out of the U.S., it's different in Venezuela. They don't know how tough Venezuela is, how difficult it is to live in a country going through a lot of difficult situations right now. There's no doubt in my mind he should get another chance, get another shot to perform and help somebody win some games.
