10.20.2005

Atop the Badass Meter

We have to wait for the NLCS to end before we'll know what sort of historical treatment Monday's Albert Pujols go-ahead blast is destined to receive. If the Astros manage to win one of the next two games and advance in spite of The Pujols Poke, then the pundits may back off the comparisons with Hendu, Jeff Kent and the like. Pity that such gravitas can only come in the context of games yet to be played.

I already know one thing, though: that was probably the most badass home run I have ever seen. The towering arc and the distance of the shot, not to mention the way such a shot looks in a tiny park like the Juice Box, helped to increase the badass factor, and so did the circumstances.

Let's try to gather together the homers in baseball history that have ranked highest on the Badass Meter. (For the sake of simplicity we shall only consider homers, not overall performances.) The criteria for a high rating on the Meter will remain subjective and mysterious to all but yours truly, so Pujols' shot was about a 9.6, with the .4 coming off because a) it was a hanging slider instead of a fastball, and b) it didn't end the series right then and there, although many have argued prematurely that it did.

Hendu in '86. Not bad, and perhaps the most apt comparison drawn, but it came off Donnie Moore, who was nowhere near Lidge's class. Also, the fact that Moore later committed suicide makes this less badass, not more, though some might disagree. Score it a 9.2.

Bobby Thomson. This was indeed pretty badass -- one-game playoff, heated rivals, a Sayonara that served as a direct rejection of a managerial pitching choice (Ralph Branca) for this specific batter. Points off, though, for the fact that the supposed Shot Heard 'Round the World was actually only a Berkman-esque liner that snuck over the 279-foot wall in left. Plus, Branca already had a history of failure against Thomson. Plus, 'badass' wasn't a word yet in '51. Score it an 8.6.

Bonds vs. K-Rod. This was Game 6 of the '02 World Series, but the stakes weren't quite that high at the time (a 3-0 lead became 4-0 in the sixth). True badassery though: K-Rod had attained true phenom status by that point, a heretofore unknown who had just blown away his October opposition (28 K in 18.2 IP), and Bonds turned on that fastball like he was facing John Wasdin. Score it a 9.0.

Kirk Gibson. A pinch-hit job to win a World Series game: plus. He had fallen behind 0-2: plus. He then worked the count full before homering: slight minus. The rather weak-looking nature of the homer versus Gibson's leg injury: push. Eckersley was MLB's best reliever at the time: big plus. Gibson capitalizing on his previously-established clutch reputation: plus. This is a tough call. Score it a 9.5.

Bill Mazeroski. Not quite. Maz didn't look the part, for one, and nothing was at stake if he had (say) grounded to third. First ever Series-winning sayonara, though. Score it a 6.8.

McGwire vs. Randy Johnson. Now we're talking. This was a relatively meaningless regular-season game, but in terms of the reputations at stake it was anything but. This was the Bonds vs. K-Rod of '97. According to Mariner broadcaster Dave Niehaus, "We have often wondered if McGwire got ahold of a Randy Johnson fastball how far he could hit it, and I think we just saw it." Sure, 538 feet may have been an overstatement, but it didn't feel like it at the time. Adding to the drama was that Johnson struck out 19 batters in the same game. Score it an 8.7, making it the most badass regular-season homer yet.

Robin Ventura vs. Kevin McGlinchy. An extra-inning playoff game-winning no-doubter grand slam is pretty sweet. Tack on two-tenths because it only went down in the books as a single. On the other hand, who's Kevin McGlinchy? Score it a 7.8.

Joe Carter vs. Mitch Williams. It won a World Series, it was a decent-looking shot, it involved two marquee names, and it ruined Wild Thing's career. Not too shabby. But wasn't it a rather foregone conclusion that the Phillies were going to find a way to lose? I'm also docking .2 due to the Canada factor. Score it an 8.4.

**Update 4:49pm: It has been brought to my attention that the Pujols homer did more than merely turn around Game 5 and potentially save a team's season. It has also allowed the world at least one more look at the soon-to-be-imploded Busch Stadium. That's an extra tenth of a point in my book, giving Pujols a 9.7 on the Badassometer.

**Update 10/20 9:25am: Well, now St. Louis has been eliminated, thanks to the selfish Astros who showed no respect whatsoever for the potential historical value of Pujols' blast. John argues that in this context we have to adjust our score out of respect for Gibson, whose team took home a ring in '88 thanks in part to that homer. I'm a little leery of docking points as a direct result of the efforts of Mulder and Oswalt, but he's right, even the most badass feats don't happen in a vacuum. John wants Pujols down to 9.4, but I'll make a compromise and say Pujols gets a 9.5, with Kirk upgraded to 9.6.

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