5.06.2005
Your Typical Friday Night Marquee Matchup
Well, not quite. A West Coast resident such as yours truly ends up experiencing these matchups on something closer to Late Friday Afternoon. But it *is* Oswalt v. Smoltz, and on the same night that Lance Berkman makes his long-awaited return to the Houston Astros lineup to boot.
More disclosure: unless otherwise noted, MLBeat Game Reports come not from in-person attendance or even TV watching, but from MLB Gameday Audio's ample selection of radio feeds. Tonight: Skip Caray and Joe Simpson, Braves announcers for WGST. Judging from the commercials, WGST has its demographic pegged as the same one that tunes into TBS for their Braves fix: lawn care products, insurance of home and car, Home Depot. Noticeably absent are the swelling musical Delta pieces of yore. And whither alcohol? Have we cleaned up as a society while I wasn't looking?
Before I can even get settled in: "A 3-run jack for Johnny! Oswalt - high changeup! And for Estrada, his first home run of the year!" Immediately we learn that tonight will not live up to its billing, as Oswalt is having one of Those Nights when nothing goes right. Houston outfielders Willy Taveras and Mike Lamb -- "he's usually a third baseman, isn't he?", notes Simpson -- misplay a series of flyballs the put Atlanta up three more runs, 6-0 after two innings. Oswalt will settle down and retire seven in a row, but a misplay by Berkman at first base leads to more carnage in the fifth.
Berkman, who tore his ACL playing flag football last fall, returns to a staggering team with a jumbled lineup. Taveras and Jason Lane have both made semi-persuasive cases to be left in the outfield on a regular basis; Craig Biggio's Hall-of-Fame career, which has taken him from C to 2B to CF, has taken him back to 2B again; and the fight for 3B between Mike Lamb and Morgan Ensberg has spilled over into RF, with the loser the most likely to give his PT to Berkman. But complicating the matter further are Jeff Bagwell's shoulders, which apparently have to be reattached with chicken wire and putty every so often (OK, cortisone shots). When you're chronically injured like that -- terminally, vis-a-vis Bagwell's career -- how do you make the decision when and when not to play? Shudder shudder.
So tonight Berkman plays first. The announcers explain this by saying that apparently Berkman's knees aren't good enough yet to put him in the outfield, but that's hooey. Will he run to second if he hits a gapper, or will it be more of a saunter? Anyway, he made one nice play at first by the announcers' count but misplayed a flip to Oswalt that allowed Chipper to reach safely. Say what you want about the Astros' lineup shuffle, but Oswalt was killed by his defense tonight all over. That this happens with an infielder in the outfield and an outfielder in the infield can't look good to anyone watching.
After Chipper makes a nice play from one knee to retire Oswalt on a grounder, you can hear Simpson trip over the old supersition: "John Smoltz has...set 'em down, 3 up 3 down for 3 innings." Caray starts addressing the elephant in the next inning, however, saying "Smoltz has been poifect through 3," "he's set down ten in a row now" and so on until Craig Biggio lines a single to left. You can hear the disappointment in Skip's voice, and he is quick with his disclaimer:"I know some of you think we shouldn't mention no-hitters, but come on folks. Even with our egos we realize that what we say up here has nothing to do with what goes on down there." Whatever. Now Lamb doubles in Biggio and everything's gone to hell: perfect game, no-hitter, shutout. Meanwhile, Brad Penny has a no-no of his own going in Cincinnati, also with three complete. Might as well get all our jinxing done now. [Sure enough, Ryan Freel broke up Penny's bid with a triple in the sixth. Genius.]
After five innings, Smoltz has cruised through on only 46 pitches, but his vague "upper respiratory problem," the second-inning description of which made it sound like Skip and Joe were prematurely making excuses for him, seems to have asserted itself, combining with a shocking 9-1 lead over Oswalt (plus a possible back injury incurred while swinging the bat) to knock Smoltz out of the game. Skip neatly took the "baseball is a funny game" angle by pointing out that Oswalt, he of the 7 ER in 4 IP, was staying in the game, while the dominating Smoltz was hitting the showers. Jorge Sosa comes into the game, a sure sign that it's already over.
We are now smack into the Blowout Phase of the game, which is the creamy filling when it comes to radio broadcasts. Brandon Duckworth's entry into the game leads to a Simpson joke about a dead duck in a vet's office, worked seamlessly into the play-by-play (Pete Orr singled to left). Later, a philosophical nugget from Caray: "Why is gambling illegal but insurance not? One's betting you're going to die, the other's betting you're not, right?" Realizing he has backed himself into an unwinnable discussion with two outs in the inning, he recuses himself as dryly as ever: "Chavez grounds out to shortstop, and the inning, thank God, is over."
Skip is a wonderful announcer, if only on the merit of his ability to mutter complaints just under his normal voice. He can slip a "they never change, these promos, do they?" right into the middle of his delivery of a promo. And later: "I'm old enough to remember when the commercials all came in between innings." His relentless mocking of the AFLAC duck's quack never fails to amuse, and while it may not cast the duck in a particularly favorable light, it helps spread name recognition a little more. Everybody wins, not least because we've all stopped paying attention to the game innings ago.
More disclosure: unless otherwise noted, MLBeat Game Reports come not from in-person attendance or even TV watching, but from MLB Gameday Audio's ample selection of radio feeds. Tonight: Skip Caray and Joe Simpson, Braves announcers for WGST. Judging from the commercials, WGST has its demographic pegged as the same one that tunes into TBS for their Braves fix: lawn care products, insurance of home and car, Home Depot. Noticeably absent are the swelling musical Delta pieces of yore. And whither alcohol? Have we cleaned up as a society while I wasn't looking?
Before I can even get settled in: "A 3-run jack for Johnny! Oswalt - high changeup! And for Estrada, his first home run of the year!" Immediately we learn that tonight will not live up to its billing, as Oswalt is having one of Those Nights when nothing goes right. Houston outfielders Willy Taveras and Mike Lamb -- "he's usually a third baseman, isn't he?", notes Simpson -- misplay a series of flyballs the put Atlanta up three more runs, 6-0 after two innings. Oswalt will settle down and retire seven in a row, but a misplay by Berkman at first base leads to more carnage in the fifth.
Berkman, who tore his ACL playing flag football last fall, returns to a staggering team with a jumbled lineup. Taveras and Jason Lane have both made semi-persuasive cases to be left in the outfield on a regular basis; Craig Biggio's Hall-of-Fame career, which has taken him from C to 2B to CF, has taken him back to 2B again; and the fight for 3B between Mike Lamb and Morgan Ensberg has spilled over into RF, with the loser the most likely to give his PT to Berkman. But complicating the matter further are Jeff Bagwell's shoulders, which apparently have to be reattached with chicken wire and putty every so often (OK, cortisone shots). When you're chronically injured like that -- terminally, vis-a-vis Bagwell's career -- how do you make the decision when and when not to play? Shudder shudder.
So tonight Berkman plays first. The announcers explain this by saying that apparently Berkman's knees aren't good enough yet to put him in the outfield, but that's hooey. Will he run to second if he hits a gapper, or will it be more of a saunter? Anyway, he made one nice play at first by the announcers' count but misplayed a flip to Oswalt that allowed Chipper to reach safely. Say what you want about the Astros' lineup shuffle, but Oswalt was killed by his defense tonight all over. That this happens with an infielder in the outfield and an outfielder in the infield can't look good to anyone watching.
After Chipper makes a nice play from one knee to retire Oswalt on a grounder, you can hear Simpson trip over the old supersition: "John Smoltz has...set 'em down, 3 up 3 down for 3 innings." Caray starts addressing the elephant in the next inning, however, saying "Smoltz has been poifect through 3," "he's set down ten in a row now" and so on until Craig Biggio lines a single to left. You can hear the disappointment in Skip's voice, and he is quick with his disclaimer:"I know some of you think we shouldn't mention no-hitters, but come on folks. Even with our egos we realize that what we say up here has nothing to do with what goes on down there." Whatever. Now Lamb doubles in Biggio and everything's gone to hell: perfect game, no-hitter, shutout. Meanwhile, Brad Penny has a no-no of his own going in Cincinnati, also with three complete. Might as well get all our jinxing done now. [Sure enough, Ryan Freel broke up Penny's bid with a triple in the sixth. Genius.]
After five innings, Smoltz has cruised through on only 46 pitches, but his vague "upper respiratory problem," the second-inning description of which made it sound like Skip and Joe were prematurely making excuses for him, seems to have asserted itself, combining with a shocking 9-1 lead over Oswalt (plus a possible back injury incurred while swinging the bat) to knock Smoltz out of the game. Skip neatly took the "baseball is a funny game" angle by pointing out that Oswalt, he of the 7 ER in 4 IP, was staying in the game, while the dominating Smoltz was hitting the showers. Jorge Sosa comes into the game, a sure sign that it's already over.
We are now smack into the Blowout Phase of the game, which is the creamy filling when it comes to radio broadcasts. Brandon Duckworth's entry into the game leads to a Simpson joke about a dead duck in a vet's office, worked seamlessly into the play-by-play (Pete Orr singled to left). Later, a philosophical nugget from Caray: "Why is gambling illegal but insurance not? One's betting you're going to die, the other's betting you're not, right?" Realizing he has backed himself into an unwinnable discussion with two outs in the inning, he recuses himself as dryly as ever: "Chavez grounds out to shortstop, and the inning, thank God, is over."
Skip is a wonderful announcer, if only on the merit of his ability to mutter complaints just under his normal voice. He can slip a "they never change, these promos, do they?" right into the middle of his delivery of a promo. And later: "I'm old enough to remember when the commercials all came in between innings." His relentless mocking of the AFLAC duck's quack never fails to amuse, and while it may not cast the duck in a particularly favorable light, it helps spread name recognition a little more. Everybody wins, not least because we've all stopped paying attention to the game innings ago.
